The Five Times Percy Helped Someone by Annoying Them
by WhatMakesAFandom
Summary: The first five times Percy helps a fellow demigod by annoying them. There may be a second chapter. R&R! (WARNING! Sarcastic Percy!)


"Annabeth?"

"Percy, this really isn't the time,"

"Annabeth,"

"Percy…"

"Annabeth?"

"…What, Percy?" Annabeth finally asked, slamming the book she was reading onto the table and giving her boyfriend an annoyed look. They were working on re-building the damaged cabins after the war with Gaea, and the stress was killing her. The last thing she needed was for Percy to drag her into more trouble.

But Percy just gave her a lopsided smile.

"I love you." He said simply, as if were the most obvious thing in the world. And suddenly, she didn't feel all that stressed.

-O-

"Nico?" Poke. "Nico?" Another poke. "Niiiiiccco? Nic-"

"WHAT?!" said the Son of Hades, his eyes turning around wildly and finding Percy. He was just sitting there, minding his own business and staring into space, contemplating what was to happen next in his life. He had tried to ignore Percy's constant attempts to get his attention, but that ended up with him getting an eye-twitch and a bad temper.

Percy looked a bit startled for a second, but then regained his composure and grinned impishly. "You're gloomy," he said, pointing out the obvious.

"What's it to you?"

"You should smile for often. You look better that way." Nico stared blankly at the son of Poseidon, who started walking away casually with his hands shoved in his pockets as if nothing had happened.

And suddenly, he felt the eerie urge to cackle manically if only because of the immense irony of the situation.

-O-

"Will? Will, Will, Will, Will Willy-lee William-Will? Will-Wil? Wiiiiiiiiiill? Will? Will, Will, Will? Wi-"

"Percy, I'm a medi-demigod, and if you're trying to get me to lose my patience, then it's not working. I've dealt with delusional and hallucinating demigods, so I should think I can deal with you. Why don't you just tell me what you want so we can both rest in peace?"

Percy, who was sitting (uninvited, of course) ontop of a medical table in the Camp Half-Blood Infirmary as he watched the son of Apollo measure potions the Hecate kids had given him into vials and exotic-looking containers, completely unperturbed by Percy's annoying repetition of his name. Percy had to admire his patience.

"Why are you locking yourself in here while everyone's out relaxing?" Percy asked, his voice indicating general curiosity.

Will sighed in exasperation. "Because I'm a medic, Percy. I run the Infirmary and there's no telling when someone's going to need me."

"You run it all by yourself?" Percy queried.

"Well, no, but the others and just taking a break-"

"Why don't you join them?"

"Percy, I told you it's because-"

"Because you like locking yourself up and thinking you're less important than the rest of the Apollo kids only because you specialize in healing and not in pulling a quiver?" Will stared at him in shock, nearly dropping two vials of potion.

"Hypo-crite." Percy sang merrily. "Oh, goodie, wait until I tell Nico about this. Just when I was beginning to think you're a great influence on him, too, maybe I should tell him-"

"All right, all right, I'm coming." Will said slightly exasperated. He pushed the vials into a drawer, a bit roughly, and stared at Percy.

"You didn't happen to down that physiological potion Lou-Ellen brought me two days ago, did you?" Will asked, not really meaning it, but raising an eyebrow either way. His expression took a more downward direction as Percy stared at the floor guilty.

"….It tasted like strawberries…"

And suddenly, Will thought he might _not_ be able to deal with Percy after all.

-O-

"I hate you for making me do this," Leo swore at Percy, who just shrugged.

"You agreed-"

"I'm a mechanic! Not a cook!"

"You cook Mexican food as well as you make up wonder-machines." Percy reassured. "And besides, you just _love_ to show off. What's wrong with you today?"

"Calypso's gonna try my tacos for the first time." He admitted, wincing and wringing his fingers nervously.

Leo found himself subconsciously hoping the plan wouldn't work- but it did. Instead of what the campers wanted for dinner at the pavilion, they each got three tacos- one vegetarian, one meaty, and one with both elements. They all muttered/yelled in frustration, demanding what was going on and why they didn't get their original orders. Expect, of course, the one who had initially asked for tacos, who weren't many.

Calypso, who was sitting on the Hermes Cabin that day (she could sit anywhere she wanted), warily took a bite of a vegan taco, and her face lit up in a grin as she chewed. The campers warily started to follow suit, all with blissful faces that revealed exactly what they thought of their tacos. Calypso didn't have to ask who made it. She looked at her plate, and then at Leo's mysteriously red face, stood up, walked to her boyfriend, and gave him a deep, passionate kiss on the lips in front of the entire camp, which cheered and waved tacos about, catcalling all the while(save for the Stolls who were making gagging noises).

And, let met first apologize for the repeated phrase, but Leo suddenly felt like showing off more than he'd ever done before in his life.

-O-

"Oh, woe is me, OH WOE IS ME! I used to have a hamster tree…"

"Percy, stop it-"

"but it was eaten by a boot,"

"No, seriously man, this isn't funny-"

"and now I have no cuddly-fruit!"

"Look, what do you want?" Travis asked, his expression twisting into a deep frown as he harshly scooped up a few pebbles and forcefully threw them across the canoe lake. They skipped a couple times, then sank.

Percy froze in the water where he was standing, clothes and all, and splashing around water shamelessly as he sang the raucous lyrics with equal unabashed behavior.

Percy walked casually out of the water with a huge, creepy smile on his face, and when he got to the shore, he leaned closer to Travis, so close that his face was inches apart from his. Travis tried to lean back from Percy's creepy joker-smile, but Percy only leaned forward.

"What..is wrong with you and Katie Gardiner?" Percy asked sweetly, keeping up the smile.

"None of your business." Travis growled.

"As a matter of fact is _becomes_ mine when you two set fire to the Poseidon Cabin?" said Percy, determined, though still in sync with his lippy grin.

"It was _her_ fault!" Travis protested standing up abruptly and trying to back away from the advancing son of one of the Big Three.

"How about you try to settle it without Leo in the middle the next time, hmm?" Percy suggested, frowning in mock-concern.

"Well-OK-I mean,"

"And next time, when she's mad about something, just kiss her before she says anything else and chances are she'll forget about it." He advised, his expression suddenly turning sincere.

He maneuvered himself around Travis, and started walking away, as dry as ever, toward his now-extinguished cabin. Travis stared at him in wonder, but swore to try his technique anyway. If it worked on a daughter of Athena, it's gotta work on a daughter of Demeter.

 **First fic on this account! Wooh! Hope it's good, yo peeps! P.S, if you're searching for a total troll-fic because you want to laugh so hard you almost bleed internally, read my other fanfic….or My Immortal. No, wait, DON'T read My Immortal.**

 **(P.S, please review!)**


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